Friday, February 22, 2013

14 Steps to Adultery

One of the first steps in Affair Proofing your marriage is to realize how affairs happen.  The reality is that NO ONE GETS MARRIED thinking they will have an affair!  In most cases an affair is not with a stranger.  In most cases it happens over a long period of time….begins completely innocent…but you put yourself in situations for feeling to develop with someone you know!  You put yourself in a situation where you are spending time alone.  You put yourself in situations where you begin to allow someone of the opposite sex besides your spouse to begin meeting your emotional needs.  Eventually, ROMANTIC feeling develop and the other person begins meeting not only your EMOTIONAL needs but PHYSICAL ones as well.  

14 Steps to Adultery
1. You meet someone (the circumstances vary).
2. You grow more and more aware of that particular person.
3. You spend time thinking about that person.
4. There is a series of unplanned, innocent contacts. This can be in person or electronic (email, Facebook, etc).
5. The unplanned, innocent contacts develop into planned, intentional contacts.
6. You find ways to seek the other person out to talk and have conversations…can be online, by email or by text.
7. You realize that you feel good when you’re with the other person.
8. You start comparing the way you feel about this person with the way you feel about your spouse. You compare how the other person treats you compared to how your spouse treats you.
9. You look for ways you can be with the other person for legitimate reasons.
10. There is an exchange of apparently innocent forms of physical affection. (Examples: Lingering Hugs, Intentionally brushing hands…)
11. Innocent forms of affection quickly turn to embracing and kissing.
12. You experience a struggle with your conscience.
13. The desire to be in contact with each other continues.
14. You engage in actual sexual involvement.

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